Blog

Caucasian woman customer enjoying relaxing anti-stress massage. Quiescent

Funny story…So, we’re in Costa Rica, right? It’s gorgeous, and one of the treats included in the trip was a spa treatment. I’m talking deep tissue massage, mineral soak, exfoliant—the works. I was all in for this relaxing spa day with two travel buddies from Club LILLES, Barb and Pinky.<figure id="figure-9a62his3fdm2ut1koh"><img id="9a62his3fdm2ut1koh" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2209NQBd6ZUvSvyeT17WLj7WQacnFvbTShWcGhYXLnqrmfv7x20Pg1K46lN3peNx.jpg" alt="Close Up on Hands of a Crowd of People Clapping in Dark Conference Hall During a Motivational Keynote Presentation. Business Technology Summit Auditorium Room Full of Delegates." title="Close Up on Hands of a Crowd of People Clapping in Dark Conference Hall During a Motivational Keynote Presentation. Business Technology Summit Auditorium Room Full of Delegates." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 95% 0%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="95%" data-positiony="0%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2209NQBd6ZUvSvyeT17WLj7WQacnFvbTShWcGhYXLnqrmfv7x20Pg1K46lN3peNx.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 95% 0%;"></figure>Now, let’s talk about Barb. This was her very first massage ever. Naturally, we figured she’d feel more comfortable with a private room experience for her debut massage. Pinky and I, on the other hand, got whisked away down by a river to enjoy our treatment in the open air (which, honestly, was like something out of a movie). The only problem? We didn’t get the memo about bringing bathing suits!Cue my anxiety. I’d only met Pinky the day before, and now here I was, standing next to her, both of us slightly underprepared (to put it delicately) for our spa day. Let’s just say this quickly became my very first “couples massage” with a complete stranger!Pinky and I had no choice but to just roll with it, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. By the end of it, we were fast friends, bonded by an unexpected “adventure” and a lot of laughs. That’s the beauty of these trips—pushing past comfort zones, trying new things, and creating memories that will make us smile for years.Oh, and that post-spa photo of us? My hair was doing its own thing, showing just how much we’d both enjoyed the experience.To Pinky Jones, the ultimate spa day sport—thank you for the memories!<figure id="figure-pivwpjr0lm2ut3n2y"><img id="pivwpjr0lm2ut3n2y" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13LUBxLJPIO3OE0r5jK7VICivjqJ94phFmMjqYf2IiEv0ltHWgMq1NNrBCExlUGs.png" alt="Business people standing by table in office, talking and drinking champagne" title="Business people standing by table in office, talking and drinking champagne" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13LUBxLJPIO3OE0r5jK7VICivjqJ94phFmMjqYf2IiEv0ltHWgMq1NNrBCExlUGs.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>And for anyone who wants to dive into the fun (with or without the proper gear), pack your bags because our next adventure is heading to Greece!Want to learn how you can join us in Greece for our next Club LILLES travel adventure? <a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025">CLICK HERE!</a>&nbsp;

My “First Couples Massage” (With a Stranger?!) in Costa Rica

Without a doubt, one of the absolute highlights of our last two Club LILLES adventures has been our incredible guides. Every trip, we’re paired with a guide who’s with us every step of the way—and trust me, they’re lifesavers when the unexpected happens (because, let’s be real, it always does).But even more than that, it’s the experience they bring to the table that truly elevates our journey. Their deep knowledge of the area and culture gives us a perspective and education you simply wouldn’t get flying solo. It’s like having a backstage pass to the heart and soul of the destination!<figure id="figure-l66mnq6mhm19fr3rv"><img id="l66mnq6mhm19fr3rv" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/17ozQc1phZn5706QuSnZ84seGQbavLvj9G0UApCNLaiP71YwFEhxhJyTADPhD6JT.jpg" alt="woman in black coat sitting on chair" title="woman in black coat sitting on chair" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/17ozQc1phZn5706QuSnZ84seGQbavLvj9G0UApCNLaiP71YwFEhxhJyTADPhD6JT.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Meet Ulises, the rockstar who made our Tulum trip unforgettable! And get this—turns out his mom is a LILLES too! (She found her true self a bit later in life, but hey, better late than never!) How cool is that?<figure id="figure-6lhbhqh6dhm19fsco3"><img id="6lhbhqh6dhm19fsco3" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/8RoIxwmAflUKkeU969otcSgrmbz7EE3Xc7x0esmkDnfzxp8UoE26e2t3MU9oZxQi.jpg" alt="person using laptop computer" title="person using laptop computer" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 35%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="35%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/8RoIxwmAflUKkeU969otcSgrmbz7EE3Xc7x0esmkDnfzxp8UoE26e2t3MU9oZxQi.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 35%;"></figure>On our first trip to Costa Rica, Johnny (pictured above) quickly became my favorite human. Seriously, the guy knew everything about everything! While traveling with friends is a blast, my true love for travel lies in diving deep into the culture—and Johnny totally nailed it. He didn’t just guide us; he took us on a cultural deep dive that I’ll never forget.<figure id="figure-fsw4sbotfm19ft1sd"><img id="fsw4sbotfm19ft1sd" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13LUBxLJPIO3OE0r5jK7VICivjqJ94phFmMjqYf2IiEv0ltHWgMq1NNrBCExlUGs.png" alt="three people sitting in front of table laughing together" title="three people sitting in front of table laughing together" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/13LUBxLJPIO3OE0r5jK7VICivjqJ94phFmMjqYf2IiEv0ltHWgMq1NNrBCExlUGs.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Our next adventure to Greece is officially set for September 2025, and I couldn’t be more thrilled! I’ve heard whispers that Malcolm, our guide, is the secret ingredient that makes this trip unforgettable. Word on the street is that he’s the one you want leading the way—and lucky for us, our organizer has secured him for our journey!As tourists in a foreign land, having a native like Malcolm by our side is pure gold. Not only will he help us navigate the local culture with respect and ease, but he'll also be our bridge to truly connecting with the locals.The guides really do make all the difference, and I can’t wait to meet Malcolm. Want to join the fun and meet him too? Pack your bags and join us on this incredible trip to Greece!<a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025">CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GREECE!</a>

Meet the Guides Who Make Our Trips Unforgettable—Join Us in Greece!

Smiling young european woman in hat with suitcase, typing on smartphone, enjoy trip at station

In the journey toward healing and personal growth, many of us focus on individual work—whether through self-reflection, therapy, or mindfulness practices. While personal effort is undeniably important, there's an often-overlooked element that can supercharge this process: community. We don’t heal in isolation. True transformation happens when we connect with others, share our experiences, and feel supported along the way.Community offers a safe space to be seen, heard, and validated. When surrounded by others who are also on their own growth journeys, we gain new perspectives, feel less alone, and learn from shared experiences. This mutual support system is what fosters deeper healing and sustained growth.One powerful way to build and strengthen this sense of community is through group travel. Traveling with others creates a unique environment where bonds form naturally. Shared experiences—exploring new places, navigating challenges, and discovering the unknown together—help to break down barriers and create a sense of unity. Group travel encourages vulnerability, teamwork, and trust, all of which are essential components of a healthy community.<figure id="figure-nmw26eag0om0y86zko"><img id="nmw26eag0om0y86zko" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2dBs22nrBNEUqJcmZWhrREC5cAViorIh8p7BNSxlpKXF45A0O9tLRi8SvOJe8523.jpg" alt="person using laptop computer" title="person using laptop computer" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2dBs22nrBNEUqJcmZWhrREC5cAViorIh8p7BNSxlpKXF45A0O9tLRi8SvOJe8523.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>When individuals travel together with a shared intention, whether for personal development, adventure, or simply relaxation, a special kind of camaraderie emerges. The journey becomes more than just visiting new places; it becomes an opportunity for deep connection and growth. These shared moments foster a collective energy that can accelerate personal breakthroughs, helping everyone involved feel supported and uplifted.Through group travel, we not only expand our understanding of the world around us, but we also expand our capacity for connection and healing. Community, in this context, becomes a mirror, reflecting back the strengths, vulnerabilities, and potential we sometimes overlook in ourselves. It reminds us that we are not alone on this journey, and that growth is always more profound when shared with others.<figure id="figure-htse0plibm0y8b40m"><img id="htse0plibm0y8b40m" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2ethstIPcM8IF8zlHMxyLoBFvIST5isKk4kZ3ZLMQEypL1ZW2KY3i1vCp0p06XWH.jpg" alt="shallow focus photo of woman in beige open cardigan" title="shallow focus photo of woman in beige open cardigan" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 65%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="65%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2ethstIPcM8IF8zlHMxyLoBFvIST5isKk4kZ3ZLMQEypL1ZW2KY3i1vCp0p06XWH.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 65%;"></figure>Whether it's a retreat, an adventure with friends, or a wellness-focused travel experience, group travel can be a catalyst for transformation. It’s a chance to step outside of our everyday environments and create new, meaningful connections that can support us long after the journey ends.Next September Club LILLES is traveling to Greece as a group so that we can foster the community we built even further! Are you interested in traveling with Club LILLES? Learn more about our trip to Greece <a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/europe/greece/greece-with-jaime-messina-sep-2025">HERE!</a>

The Power of Community in Healing and Growth Through Group Travel

Closeup of LGBT flag pin attached to business suit

Coming into your sexuality is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Internalized homophobia is something that many of us come against while exploring this journey. Confronting internalized homophobia is a courageous step toward embracing your true self and living authentically. Whether you're just beginning to explore these feelings or have been grappling with them for some time, know that you are not alone. Together, we will explore strategies to help you break free from these limiting beliefs and build a foundation of self-love and acceptance.<figure id="figure-oj5kogsa4m070fwjy"><img id="oj5kogsa4m070fwjy" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2113044478/photo/a-group-of-lgbtq-people-holding-a-rainbow-heart-celebrating-pride-month.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=E9WJxqu3wUT9XuBPlwSWAPSjWYFafFZd60eG5y2IKss=" alt="A group of LGBTQ people holding a rainbow heart celebrating Pride Month." title="A group of LGBTQ people holding a rainbow heart celebrating Pride Month." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2113044478/photo/a-group-of-lgbtq-people-holding-a-rainbow-heart-celebrating-pride-month.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=E9WJxqu3wUT9XuBPlwSWAPSjWYFafFZd60eG5y2IKss=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Internalized homophobia, the self-directed prejudice many LGBTQ+ individuals experience as a result of societal bias, can be deeply harmful to self-esteem and well-being. Overcoming it requires intentional effort and self-compassion.Here are three effective strategies to fight internalized homophobia:Cultivating Self-Acceptance: The first step in combating internalized homophobia is developing a deep sense of self-acceptance. This involves acknowledging and embracing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity as a natural and valuable part of who they are. Practicing self-compassion and challenging negative thoughts with positive affirmations can help reframe harmful beliefs. Engaging with supportive communities, whether in-person or online, can also provide validation and a sense of belonging, reinforcing the idea that being LGBTQ+ is something to be celebrated, not hidden or ashamed of. Education and Awareness: Educating oneself about LGBTQ+ history, culture, and the struggles faced by the community can be empowering. Understanding the roots of homophobia and how societal norms have shaped these negative attitudes can help individuals recognize that these biases are external constructs, not intrinsic truths. By learning about the contributions of LGBTQ+ people throughout history and their fight for rights and recognition, individuals can begin to replace internalized negative beliefs with pride in their identity. Therapy and Support Systems: Professional therapy, particularly with a counselor who is affirming and knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues, can be incredibly beneficial in addressing internalized homophobia. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these feelings, unpack their origins, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. In addition, building a strong support system of friends, family, and peers who are accepting and affirming can create a network of positivity and reinforcement, helping to counteract the negative effects of internalized homophobia.<figure id="figure-m0j7czmgrlm070i5ur"><img id="m0j7czmgrlm070i5ur" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1439710271/photo/two-multiracial-hands-join-together-to-form-a-shape-heart-with-a-lgbt-flag-background-concept.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=B-LaYtn3iWcIq4CMZZFgVn4pCQFdF60GhDcTg4Jlxwk=" alt="Two multiracial hands join together to form a shape heart with a LGBT flag background. Concept of homosexual gay pride day and love between different races, peace, humans against discrimination" title="Two multiracial hands join together to form a shape heart with a LGBT flag background. Concept of homosexual gay pride day and love between different races, peace, humans against discrimination" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>As you continue on this path, remember that healing is a process, and each step forward is a victory. By embracing self-acceptance, seeking knowledge, and leaning on supportive communities, you are reclaiming your power and rewriting the narrative of your life. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress you make. You deserve to live a life free from the weight of internalized homophobia, and with every effort, you are moving closer to that freedom.

Overcoming Internalized Homophobia: Steps Toward Self-Acceptance

A group of LGBTQ people holding a rainbow heart celebrating Pride Month.

“The dating apps scare me!”That is the number one thing I hear from single people talking about dating. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get it…I always wished there was an easier way to meet people who were like me. That is one of the many reasons I created Club Lilles. The thing is, we didn’t want to make Club Lilles one of those pages that were just about trying to hook up or find a partner. It started to happen organically which was amazing, but it was not something I personally wanted to take on. I had always wished someone else would make it happen. I guess I manifested that because my friend Sophia did just that! (<a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/groupcoaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/groupcoaching">oh, and if you want to manifest with us click here</a>)<figure id="figure-lq45hkz7varlzx078du"><iframe id="lq45hkz7varlzx078du" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lR6RHdwIVCg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/lR6RHdwIVCg" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lR6RHdwIVCg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>For years, as Sophia grew her lesbian online presence, she would witness frustrations in her DMs like…“Everyone on dating apps just wants to hook up. Looking for LOVE in a hookup world is HARD.”“I want to meet my future wife too. Can you help connect me with one of your followers?”Just like myself, she heard y’all and thought about creating this platform for over 3 years. In all honesty she was tired of being on the hunt on garbage dating apps herself (same with me). One of the amazing things about Sophia is that she takes action and she created the ultimate WLW dating platform, <a data-mce-href="https://member.queercountryclub.com/invitation?code=D2DC7E" href="https://member.queercountryclub.com/invitation?code=D2DC7E">The Queer Country Club.</a><figure id="figure-thjzcdqffklzx0dz6m"><img id="thjzcdqffklzx0dz6m" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/344DYGdA3U4VNJ90N12ijwRUkVBCLLq39tFnfJ2mjAotJyw09gaaOgPpZ0PlBMVp.png" alt="the queer country club, sapphic dating, sophia spallino, jaime messina, club lilles" title="the queer country club, sapphic dating, sophia spallino, jaime messina, club lilles" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/344DYGdA3U4VNJ90N12ijwRUkVBCLLq39tFnfJ2mjAotJyw09gaaOgPpZ0PlBMVp.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>I am sharing this with y’all today because I know the importance of finding love. I help people find self love, and now Sophia will help us find love outside of ourselves. If you are one of those people currently manifesting love into your life, be sure to check it out, and if you want to gain clarity around the things that you want in your life like love, that’s where I come in with the Manifest Mastermind!Whether you are ready for love or not, I find it refreshing that so many of us are creating amazing things for our community and working toward being more conscious, present, and intentional in our lives. Thank you, Sophia!<a data-mce-href="https://member.queercountryclub.com/invitation?code=D2DC7E" href="https://member.queercountryclub.com/invitation?code=D2DC7E">JOIN THE QUEER COUNTRY CLUB HERE!</a><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/groupcoaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/groupcoaching">JOIN THE MANIFEST MASTERMIND HERE!</a>

When The Dating Apps Scare You: The Queer Country Club To The Rescue!

 Gay Pride Parade in Tel Aviv, Israel. Abstract motion blur effect

My first reaction when someone says, "I don't get why they need a parade" is that I want to bust them upside the head &nbsp;(I swear I'm not a violent person) but in all actuality, most people don't know the story of how the pride&nbsp; "parade" was born. So it makes sense as to why they wouldn't understand.<figure id="figure-1egndxstbtlx0od2bn"><img id="1egndxstbtlx0od2bn" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/14Fc2iPSOPZHsAba2rt5pxsB8VhnJRIfJom4CvUbCGQE5RIGurm91DHiGe7CHV9e.jpg" alt="pride parade, stonewall inn, lgbtq pride, lgbtq rights" title="pride parade, stonewall inn, lgbtq pride, lgbtq rights" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 5%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="50%" data-positionY="5%" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure> This is the Stonewall Inn. Stonewall is a gay bar in lower Manhattan and has been since the 60's. As you can imagine, gay bars weren't very welcome in those times. Very few establishments welcomed openly gay people in the 1950s and 1960s. Those that did were often hole-in-the-wall bars. At the time, the Stonewall Inn was owned by the Mafia who made a profit by taking advantage of the patrons. People faced being outed, losing their jobs, their families, and their friends by being seen at a bar like this. Gay Americans in the 1950s and 1960s faced an anti-gay legal system and police would often take the opportunity to raid the bar, beat, and arrest the patrons inside. &nbsp; Early on the morning of Saturday, June 28th, 1969, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning people had enough and decided to riot following a police raid on the Stonewall Inn. This night and the following nights were filled with protests and riots. This was an important moment in the LGBTQ rights movement. It was also the reason for organizing LGBTQ pride marches on a much larger public scale all over the country. On June 28, 1970, the first gay pride marches took place in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Chicago commemorating the anniversary of the riots. Today, Pride events are held annually throughout the world toward the end of June to mark the Stonewall riots. &nbsp; People march every year to remember...they march so that we never forget. We have come a long way, but still, we have a way to go. We celebrate to remind ourselves that it is OK to be ourselves and to let those who still feel like it's not OK to know that they are not alone. So if you ever find yourself questioning why people need to march, take a moment to appreciate that you have never had to march or protest or fight to be who YOU are...and offer to march with us. #pridemonth

Blog

My “First Couples Massage” (With a Stranger?!) in Costa Rica

Meet the Guides Who Make Our Trips Unforgettable—Join Us ...

The Power of Community in Healing and Growth Through Grou...

Overcoming Internalized Homophobia: Steps Toward Self-Acc...

When The Dating Apps Scare You: The Queer Country Club To...

Why Do They Need a Parade?