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If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, Why does this feel so big so fast? — you’re not alone.This comes up constantly in conversations about sapphic dating, especially among later-in-life lesbians. Attraction to women doesn’t just feel exciting — it can feel magnetic, consuming, almost electric. Like your whole system lights up at once.And while that intensity can feel intoxicating, it can also leave you questioning yourself.So let’s talk about what’s actually happening.<h3>Why sapphic chemistry can feel all-consuming</h3>When you come out later in life, your nervous system is experiencing several powerful things simultaneously:<ul><li>novelty</li><li>authenticity</li><li>desire that’s finally honest</li><li>emotional attunement with another woman</li><li>validation of a self you may have hidden for years</li></ul>For many women, this is the first time attraction feels aligned with who they really are. That alone creates a surge of energy in the body.Add in years of emotional suppression, unmet attachment needs, and the deep emotional mirroring that often happens between women — and it makes complete sense that sapphic chemistry can feel overwhelming.Your nervous system isn’t wrong for reacting strongly. It’s responding to truth.But here’s the important distinction:Intensity isn’t the same thing as alignment.<h3>The nervous system doesn’t always know the difference</h3> The nervous system is wired for familiarity, not necessarily for health.What feels intense can feel meaningful. What feels urgent can feel like destiny. What feels activating can feel like love.But intensity is usually about stimulation, not stability.And this is where many women get confused — especially those who have spent years equating emotional highs and lows with connection.<h3>Excitement vs. safety</h3> Excitement often sounds like:<ul><li>I can’t stop thinking about this person.</li><li>I need to know where this is going.</li><li>This feels huge and fast.</li></ul>Safety sounds quieter:<ul><li>I can breathe.</li><li>I’m still grounded in my own life.</li><li>I don’t feel like I’m abandoning myself to stay connected.</li></ul>Neither excitement nor safety is “bad.” But they are not the same thing.Here’s what no one really teaches us:Regulated love doesn’t always feel explosive at first — but it feels sustainable.That doesn’t mean passion disappears. It means your body isn’t stuck in fight-or-flight while you’re falling for someone. Desire and nervous-system safety get to exist at the same time.<h3>A gentler question to ask yourself</h3> Instead of asking, Is this intense enough? or Why doesn’t this feel like fireworks? try this:What does regulated love feel like for me?Not fantasy love. Not the rush. But love that feels:<ul><li>steady</li><li>mutual</li><li>emotionally safe</li><li>grounded</li><li>expansive instead of consuming</li></ul>There’s no right answer here — only curiosity.Some people realize regulated love feels calm. Others notice it feels playful, warm, or spacious. Some recognize that safety feels unfamiliar at first — and that’s okay.Awareness is the beginning of discernment.<h3>Why this matters</h3> When you understand the difference between intensity and alignment, you stop chasing chemistry that burns hot and fast — and start making space for love that actually lasts.This isn’t about dulling desire or settling for something boring. It’s about learning to recognize when attraction is coming from wholeness instead of activation.This distinction — between excitement and safety, chemistry and alignment — is something I explore deeply in my <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest">Manifest Your Soulmate Mastermind.</a> Not to teach you how to chase love, but to help you become emotionally available for the kind of connection that feels both exciting and grounding.Because love doesn’t have to consume you to be real.It can meet you where you are — regulated, rooted, and fully yourself.It’s all unfolding perfectly.

The Sapphic Nervous System: Why Love Can Feel So Intense

Woman in silhouette in front of a translucent window, hand on forehead in a sign of worry, anxiety, loneliness, abandonment

There’s a conversation I keep having with women — especially later-in-life lesbians — and it usually circles around the same quiet confusion:“I want love… but I don’t know if I’m actually ready.”That question matters more than we give it credit for.Because loneliness and readiness are not the same thing, even though they often get tangled together.Loneliness is human. It’s the desire to be seen, chosen, held, partnered. It’s the ache that shows up after years of living a life that didn’t quite fit — or after finally giving yourself permission to want what you actually want.For many later-in-life lesbians, loneliness makes complete sense. Some of us spent decades in relationships that weren’t aligned. Some of us didn’t let ourselves want love with women until much later. Some of us are navigating firsts that others had in their twenties.None of that is a failure. It’s context.Readiness, though, is quieter.Readiness doesn’t shout. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t grip.Readiness isn’t about urgency or filling a space. It’s not about proving you’re lovable. It’s not about making something mean more than it does because you’re afraid it might disappear.Readiness is about availability — emotional availability, nervous-system availability, self-trust availability.It often sounds like:<ul><li>I’m okay being here with myself.</li><li>I don’t need to rush the story.</li><li>I can stay present even when things are uncertain.</li><li>I know what feels safe in my body — and I listen.</li></ul>Here’s the part that can be uncomfortable to admit:You can feel lonely and not be ready yet.You can want partnership deeply and still need more grounding, clarity, or healing before inviting someone into your life in a way that feels steady and aligned.That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re paying attention.And paying attention is one of the most loving things you can do — for yourself and for the future relationship you want to build.Instead of asking, “Why don’t I have love yet?” A more honest question might be:“What does my body do when I imagine partnership right now?”Does it feel open or tight? Curious or urgent? Steady or anxious?There’s no right answer. There’s just information.Love that lasts tends to meet us when we’re rooted, not scrambling. When connection feels like an addition, not a rescue. When desire is paired with discernment, and chemistry is supported by safety.The good news? Readiness isn’t something you either have or don’t have.It’s something you can cultivate — slowly, intentionally, with awareness.<figure id="figure-ntmbuhjwxmkztg6aw"><img id="ntmbuhjwxmkztg6aw" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1aNBkVjj0bj3KrEX6Q4Ol4lyOM5ax3BJVJxunDJlDLKFArIv89hSG3Kr3Gt9zpIZ.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 100%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="100%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1aNBkVjj0bj3KrEX6Q4Ol4lyOM5ax3BJVJxunDJlDLKFArIv89hSG3Kr3Gt9zpIZ.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 100%;"></figure><h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest">LEARN MORE HERE!</a></h3>If this distinction resonates, it’s exactly the kind of work I’ll be guiding women through in my upcoming <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/manifest">Manifest Your Soulmate Mastermind</a>. Not chasing love. Not forcing outcomes. But learning how to become emotionally available in a way that naturally invites the kind of partnership you actually want.Because wanting love doesn’t mean you have to rush toward it.You’re allowed to prepare your heart with care.It’s all unfolding perfectly.

The Difference Between Loneliness and Readiness

March 9–15, 2026 • Club LILLES x Jaime MessinaAlright, LILLES fam—this one’s for the soul.If you’ve been craving an experience that takes you out of the everyday and straight into awe… buckle up. Because we’re heading to the Galápagos Islands, and I can promise you—this is not your average vacation.We’re talking once-in-a-lifetime vibes: Snorkeling with sea turtles. Watching sea lions play like little goofballs. Standing feet away from massive, ancient tortoises. Catching a glimpse of pink flamingos so vibrant they feel unreal. And doing it all together—with women who get you, support you, and want to live boldly just like you do.<h3>Here’s what’s waiting for you in paradise:</h3><ul><li>A Sea Lions Colony Tour at Isla Lobos</li><li>Beach hangs at Ochoa and Tortuga Bay</li><li>A walking tour of Santa Cruz Island and the legendary Charles Darwin Research Station</li><li>Watching flamingos do their thing on Isabela Island</li><li>A scenic hike through the Wetlands</li><li>A trip to Tintoreras Islet to see marine iguanas and snorkel with sharks</li><li>And of course, a Giant Tortoises Tour because… iconic.</li></ul> But beyond the wildlife and the views—this trip is about connection. To yourself. To others. To the natural world. It’s about pressing pause on the noise and tuning back into that part of you that feels wild and free.&nbsp;We’ve got:<ul><li>Double occupancy rooms in cozy 3-star hotels</li><li>A trusted local guide with us throughout the trip</li><li>All city transfers and airport pickups/drop-offs included (as long as you arrive by 5pm!)</li></ul>So yeah. This is your sign.If your heart is craving adventure, sisterhood, and a reminder of how magical life can be—come with us.Spots are very limited. Secure yours now and let's make memories that will last a lifetime.Let’s explore the edges of the earth… and maybe discover parts of ourselves we’ve been missing.You in? <a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND SECURE YOUR SPOT!</a>

Why You Need to Be in the Galápagos with Us in 2026

You know I’m all about tuning into inspired thoughts and taking aligned action—and this week, three powerful opportunities are lining up all at once. If something here lights a fire inside you, that’s your cue to follow it. Let’s break it down:<h3>1. Our Galápagos Islands Adventure is Almost Full</h3><figure id="figure-kmrvz2dkuhmcjefc2w" class=""><img id="kmrvz2dkuhmcjefc2w" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1euovJxIxctov2PVaiQzXGRhX9ScsAh4mfFF5jCkz8tvqmltgOj7eZobq55gmWft.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1euovJxIxctov2PVaiQzXGRhX9ScsAh4mfFF5jCkz8tvqmltgOj7eZobq55gmWft.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure> There are only 8 spots left for the 2026 <a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026">Club LILLES trip to the Galápagos Islands</a>—and if you’ve been dreaming of exploring wild landscapes, connecting with sea lions, giant tortoises, and pink flamingos, with your people… this is your moment.This isn’t just a trip. It’s connection. It’s joy. It’s community and nature and adventure wrapped up in one unforgettable experience. If this has been sitting on your vision board, now’s the time to bring it to life.<a data-mce-href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026" href="https://trovatrip.com/trip/south-america/ecuador/ecuador-with-jaime-messina-mar-2026">LEARN MORE HERE!</a><h3>2. Final Day to Enter the 50/50 Trevor Project Raffle</h3><figure id="figure-9xsxr59uzmcjeheu3"><img id="9xsxr59uzmcjeheu3" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16xYsZPjbFxT4xj36I140Vb0NZOJwslOoZyng23J3BFlTTD4KzgAx3CvpqsVhEYq.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16xYsZPjbFxT4xj36I140Vb0NZOJwslOoZyng23J3BFlTTD4KzgAx3CvpqsVhEYq.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> Tonight at 10 PM EST, we’ll be pulling the winner of our 50/50 raffle to benefit The Trevor Project. Half of what we raise goes to support LGBTQ+ youth in crisis. The other half? Goes to one lucky winner.It’s simple: You donate. You support a cause that matters. You could win. But it all ends tonight—and every entry counts.<a data-mce-href="https://clublilles.com/events" href="https://clublilles.com/events">LEARN HOW TO ENTER HERE!</a><h3>3. The 60-Day Manifest Mastermind Kicks Off Monday</h3> If you’ve been thinking about diving into mindset work, manifestation, and rewiring your brain for success—this is your moment.The <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind">60-Day Manifest Mastermind</a> starts Monday, and today is the final day for these two powerful options:<ul><li>50% off private coaching packages (and you get the entire 60-day group program for FREE)</li><li>Monthly payments as low as $30/month through PayPal when you select the "Pay Later" option </li></ul>This program isn’t just about manifesting more things—it’s about becoming the version of you who believes in your power, understands how your brain works, and takes aligned action from a place of confidence, not fear.<figure id="figure-dx8mrytqklmcjej6vd"><iframe id="dx8mrytqklmcjej6vd" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/kpZV6xN_LCg?si=AJDZbYn3A1c_t6LS" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>If You’ve Been Waiting for a Sign… This is it.Whether it’s travel, giving back, or deep personal transformation—opportunity is knocking. Don’t wait. You’re not behind. You’re right on time.And I’m here if you need help figuring out what step is right for you.Let’s do something big together.

3 Aligned Opportunities You Don’t Want to Miss

A group of LGBTQ people holding a rainbow heart celebrating Pride Month.

June is almost here, and with it comes one of our favorite times of year: Pride Month.<figure id="figure-h1i8apq6yb6mb9k0vgw"><img id="h1i8apq6yb6mb9k0vgw" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1490642745/photo/pride-day.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=x62XnlO5SWmDBmfURZZd-_ErblQGS4hF-lSBHkq7Zac=" alt="Pride day" title="Pride day" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1490642745/photo/pride-day.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=x62XnlO5SWmDBmfURZZd-_ErblQGS4hF-lSBHkq7Zac=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> At Club LILLES, Pride isn’t just a celebration—it’s a reclaiming. It’s a time to reflect on our history, reconnect with community, and show up as our full, authentic selves… whether we came out last year or decades ago.Throughout the month of June, our newsletters and blog posts will include bite-sized Pride education, helping us connect the dots between where we came from and where we’re headed. And we’re kicking things off with a little history lesson…The very first Pride parade took place on June 28, 1970, to mark the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. The Stonewall Inn, a safe haven for many queer and trans folks in NYC, was raided by police in the early hours of June 28, 1969. But instead of shrinking back, our community fought back. Led by trans women of color, drag queens, and other brave queer individuals, the riots that followed ignited a movement—and one year later, thousands marched in the streets to say: we’re still here.<figure id="figure-laqw84bc3pmb9k2brw"><img id="laqw84bc3pmb9k2brw" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2199395424/photo/cyclist-riding-a-bicycle-with-a-metal-front-basket-on-a-rainbow-street-regenboogvlag-in-the.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=MnoUsVSf70l3QLi60DpIrftBhhbFsR6ZWT1ASEbm3cQ=" alt="Cyclist riding a bicycle with a metal front basket on a rainbow street. Regenboogvlag in the Grote Marktstraat in the center of the Hague, Netherlands. Selective focus. Movement effect" title="Cyclist riding a bicycle with a metal front basket on a rainbow street. Regenboogvlag in the Grote Marktstraat in the center of the Hague, Netherlands. Selective focus. Movement effect" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2199395424/photo/cyclist-riding-a-bicycle-with-a-metal-front-basket-on-a-rainbow-street-regenboogvlag-in-the.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=MnoUsVSf70l3QLi60DpIrftBhhbFsR6ZWT1ASEbm3cQ=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>That same spirit is alive in Club LILLES. It’s in every post you share, every story you tell, and every moment we gather together—like we’ll be doing on Wednesday, June 11th at 9 PM EST for our next <a data-mce-href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388234449609?aff=oddtdtcreator" href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388234449609?aff=oddtdtcreator">Bevies &amp; Convo night</a>!We’ve got trivia, laughs, connection, and a very special guest joining us: Haley Grasso, a sex and relationship therapist (and fellow LILLES!) who’s bringing her wisdom and warmth to the conversation. We’ll also be doing giveaways and a 50/50 raffle to benefit <a data-mce-href="https://www.thetrevorproject.org/" href="https://www.thetrevorproject.org/">The Trevor Project</a>, because giving back is how we grow forward.This event is totally free, and open to all Club LILLES members—just bring a bevy, bring your beautiful self, and let’s celebrate who we are, together.<a data-mce-href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388234449609?aff=oddtdtcreator" href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388234449609?aff=oddtdtcreator">PLEASE REGISTER HERE TO GET THE LINK!</a>See you there. And happy early Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

Pride Is Coming—And So Are We

If you’ve been craving connection, adventure, and queer joy under the stars—this is your moment.This summer, <a data-mce-href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stargaze-festival-lesbiannightlife-sapphic-non-binary-trans-camping-tickets-1083104166719?aff=CLUBLILLES&amp;fbclid=IwY2xjawKYQANleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETF0MTN2TmJRTGc1Y0hGR2VSAR67ssmy-8DKASIBpqYuWMdT6MS-AhMH8-_0NJAuecXd3bPFpaP-DZXReQmYQg_aem_Hng6w4YMsyn6wprGyB0UNA" href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stargaze-festival-lesbiannightlife-sapphic-non-binary-trans-camping-tickets-1083104166719?aff=CLUBLILLES&amp;fbclid=IwY2xjawKYQANleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETF0MTN2TmJRTGc1Y0hGR2VSAR67ssmy-8DKASIBpqYuWMdT6MS-AhMH8-_0NJAuecXd3bPFpaP-DZXReQmYQg_aem_Hng6w4YMsyn6wprGyB0UNA">Stargaze Festival</a> is bringing together the sapphic, lesbian, non-binary, and trans community for an unforgettable weekend of camping, dancing, workshops, and togetherness. Whether you’re a seasoned camper or a first-timer who just wants to stargaze with new friends, this festival is designed to be a safe, welcoming, and affirming space for all of us to show up exactly as we are.<figure id="figure-coovn4ar7wmavbq6r2"><img id="coovn4ar7wmavbq6r2" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6lb9ApfZKGDfSrpJaDzLxd63pKqv4yNDkSJiyw1kEpHZBP70iFefElHFLumyp4hU.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6lb9ApfZKGDfSrpJaDzLxd63pKqv4yNDkSJiyw1kEpHZBP70iFefElHFLumyp4hU.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;"></figure>And guess what? Club LILLES will have our very own section at Stargaze! That means you’ll have a built-in crew of supportive, growth-minded people who get what it’s like to come out later in life or navigate new chapters. It’s more than just camping—it’s community, connection, and the kind of belonging that makes you exhale.Think:<ul><li>Late-night campfire chats</li><li>Sunrise meditations</li><li>Sapphic DJs and dancing</li><li>Workshops on self-love, identity, and joy</li><li>And plenty of space to be your full self—no explanations needed.</li></ul>Whether you're coming solo or with friends, the Club LILLES section will be your home base. We’ll laugh, connect, share stories, and maybe even cry a little (in the best way). If you’ve ever wanted to meet people beyond the screen—this is your chance.🎟️ Tickets are on sale now! Use this link to register: <a data-mce-href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stargaze-festival-lesbiannightlife-sapphic-non-binary-trans-camping-tickets-1083104166719?aff=CLUBLILLES&amp;fbclid=IwY2xjawKYQANleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETF0MTN2TmJRTGc1Y0hGR2VSAR67ssmy-8DKASIBpqYuWMdT6MS-AhMH8-_0NJAuecXd3bPFpaP-DZXReQmYQg_aem_Hng6w4YMsyn6wprGyB0UNA" href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stargaze-festival-lesbiannightlife-sapphic-non-binary-trans-camping-tickets-1083104166719?aff=CLUBLILLES&amp;fbclid=IwY2xjawKYQANleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETF0MTN2TmJRTGc1Y0hGR2VSAR67ssmy-8DKASIBpqYuWMdT6MS-AhMH8-_0NJAuecXd3bPFpaP-DZXReQmYQg_aem_Hng6w4YMsyn6wprGyB0UNA">Stargaze Festival Tickets – Club LILLES Affiliate Link</a>Let’s take this online magic and bring it to real life. See you under the stars.&nbsp; You won’t want to miss this.

Blog

The Sapphic Nervous System: Why Love Can Feel So Intense

The Difference Between Loneliness and Readiness

Why You Need to Be in the Galápagos with Us in 2026

3 Aligned Opportunities You Don’t Want to Miss

Pride Is Coming—And So Are We

Stargaze Festival: A Weekend of Queer Joy, Community & Ca...